Christmas Day Walk

Christmas day in London is one of the quietest days, well, for the likes of us who don't celebrate. The husband has been taking on work the last two weeks of December every year which makes me plan a bit more about what I can do with myself. 

I find it odd when people wish us Happy Holidays as this is the time of the year when we both are very busy in our own ways - he with his long 14hr days of work and I trying to get the year's quota of getting through a 100 things I had in mind. 

Working at the charity during Christmas in the past few years has to be one of the best things I could have done with this spare time I have and this year too I decided to do a few days at Crisis. 

I picked Christmas day this year as I knew HE is at work and I will otherwise end up watching a lot of television or browsing way too much and eating more than I should.  The catch at picking Christmas day was that as there is no public transport and I STILL don't drive, the only option was to walk back home or hire a cab and I decided to do the former.

A 4km-odd walk on any other day would mean nothing to me, but this day it was going to be interesting. No buses, no shops, restaurants open, everyone either tucked away in their cozy homes or away from London visiting families things had to be different on the streets - funny to think that the 7 years I have lived here I had never stepped out of the house (if I was here) on Christmas Day! (I can still hear my Dad-in-law going there is no point in getting out, no one will be out, nothing will be open and you know the flow)

I walked back after finishing another satisfied day at Crisis. The first sight of a convenience store being open caught me happy. I got my share of snacks almost thanking God...what if the road ahead was hard! I was pleasantly surprised to see the bespoke restaurants open and pretty full. The traffic on the streets too was not that low. The best thing I noticed was other fellow walkers - it was not the usual hurried pace, the rush and push to get to the destination. You could actually see people notice things , stop and have a look and actually observe other people on the streets too. A very un-Londonlike behavior. 

People seemed to enjoy their walks holding hands, giving cuddles and some perhaps were trying to offload a bit of the turkey meal they might have had that afternoon. Passers by smiled at each other and walked on. The Christmas lights, the decorated trees stood still- it was all put up for this big day and yet, they stand alone, all by themselves with no sense of celebration around them. It was great to NOT see the city lights and instead a dark sky with a bright moon. It was surreal not to hear the traffic or avoid the glares of harsh headlights of thousands of  vehicles which claim the streets. I am a believer that walks can only do  good to us and a walk in one of the most beautiful cities on a day when we can say 'London is closed for Business' is mesmerizing.

I would definitely relate to this picture on a Christmas day and yes! when London does not work, it gives you an opportunity for one of the best days to walk around. 

Empty Streets

A couple of weeks ago I made an overnight trip to Geneva for a client meeting. I had resigned myself to a trip that would include an evening of staying in the room and preparing for the next day's meeting, going through the documents received and clearing the inbox which was long due.  I had looked forward to a short stroll in the city either pre or post dinner to brush against the new place, new streets, new people that travel brings with it, something that I enjoy doing irrespective of where I go. 

Little did I know that my hotel was booked in a little town in France that was no where close to the city we are talking about (Geneva borders France and Switzerland). This place, Divonnes les bains in which most letters will be skipped if I plan to pronounce it was at the foot of the hills which overlooks the mightly Alps far on the other side of the spectrum. We drove many miles away from Geneva to reach this place and the closer we got to the destination, the absence of activity, of people seemed to take over the landscape. 

I checked into this hotel, well, studio apartment and from my little cold balcony I saw a pristine steam with trees and shrubs and a cute little bridge over it. How picturesque, How Europe! 

I didn't think much of it to be honest as I was happy to know I have wi-fi access which worked the first time I tried it! I got busy in my preparation for the meeting, I had 3 other documents in my inbox waiting for my attention. I also caught up with my colleague to discuss the plan of attack ( sometimes planning a pre-sales meeting makes me feel like planning for a win, No! a war...well, you know what I mean!). The colleague was pleasant but clearly disappointed that beer was served in a whiskey glass. Let me not discuss anything more of what his thoughts were or mine :) 

Yes! For a non-beer drinker that I usually am and for the German-beer-drinker that he is we both settled for beer in France which is so very wrong!

Having completed the 'work' for the evening, I decided to take a stroll in this little town...village? ...the place. 

A 2-minute stroll to the center of the town got me to a church facing a square and some weirdly random shops around - a boutique, a barber, a sushi restaurant and a shoe shop...

A little stroll from there gave options of a creperie, a patisserie - which got me convinced I was in France.

There also was this token Indian restaurant which I dared not to visit.

A few people - lets number - may be 10 in total were walking about minding their own business, in fact like as if they were in a hurry to catch a train or something. I wondered what was so 'busy' in this little place.

I was awing on the sight of the perfectly golden crowned, snow covered Alps at a distance and refrained clicking any pictures on my mobile as it would have done no justice to nature's beauty. 

I took a left here, a right turn there, walked straight ahead somewhere crossing random things. And just in the non-dramatic setting were things like this and that and the most surprising of all  - A Casino! 

Well... I thought the emptiness of the place, it's streets would make my stroll that evening an uneventful one... but the very fact makes me think today. 

I enjoyed the quiet of the place which in a way made me hear my innermost fears, dreams , those wants, the needs and the quiet serenity. I liked the silence, the solitude, the tone of nothing, the noise of peace but I also remembered how I can easily go mad without the chaos of day to day life. 

I can't help but term this place 'Beautifully Dead'.

Having a Business Mind - NOT!

Fruit Garden is a little shop near home which stocks Asian groceries, organic and health foods. Every time I wait at the till to pay for my shopping, I can't help but notice the different types of little bites - cookies, fudges, health bars, protein bars, nut bars and so on that this shop sticks and it always tempts me to try one. They are pretty expensive for what they are and this stops me from picking things up.

A really tiny piece called the 'Indian bar' caught my eye and it was full of goodness as it said on the board - dates, almonds, pistachios and cardamom all beaten up and mixed together - can't go wrong with that combination, can you?  This tiny bite was 70p which is a lot for what it was. I started my conversation about this to the shop keeper who is a pal now and he mentioned that it's a very fast seller and though expensive, it is really very tasty. Now, all my resistance in the past months was futile and I had to try it. 'No one can eat just one' doesn't apply only for pringles or lays you know. This bite was indeed quite tasty.  I also spoke to him that if I can make it, I would sell the same for 40p and jokingly chatted if he can stock my product - his quick answer being  that another Indian lady who frequents the shop had a similar idea and the taste was not quite the same when she tried it.
 

During my walk back home, I pondered on stopping by Tesco to buy these ingredients to make at home. But by the time I got home and started getting into the mundane evening chores my mind slowly drifted from the whole business idea - making some to stock it in the shop was a out of the question, I couldn't be asked to make some for myself!
 

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine and me did almost of week of research and looked into the paper work to start up a Indian chat stall in one of the markets in London. Well, a Saturday business where we can cook some simple one pot Indian meals and sell it. Though this idea came by for our love of markets, street food and cooking, the thought of starting something up on our own gave us the thrill.

 

Of course, by the end of the week when we went through the process steps that we need to go through to get a license, to the logistics issue, to not having a large kitchen and extra space in either of our homes to stock the pots, pans and groceries and to the final thought of giving up the precious Saturday did not look like it was worth the effort. Was it not easier to stop by one of those stalls, buy the food, sit under a tree or on the lawn, or by the river to rejoice the food?

 

There were many other small ideas that came and died a silent death with my I-don't-wanna-take-a-chance, it's-too-much-effort, the-returns-aren't-really-that-good or in other words a 'I'll-stick-to-my-day-job-and-do-nothing-more' attitude that runs in me.

 

The hubby on the other end is quite an opposite.  Though he does have the ' it's-too-much-effort 'problem, he definitely does not have the other traits I have. In the past 6 years, I have noticed him speak and do things that I might not have imagined in my wildest dreams. That thought would have NEVER occurred to me. He too is busy with his day job of being a doctor which is far more tedious and time consuming than mine - so I will not hold him against not really starting anything but appreciate the fact that his passion towards it doesn't die as quickly as mine.

 

He mentioned recently out of frustration that he should have been born in a Gujju or Marwari family where everyone is up for doing something on their own. The people who surround him, in other words me and his dad of course lack that drive.

 

Someday, I wish I can come around to doing something than just making notes of what I could have possibly done, but for now I understand that I don't really have a 'Business Mind' whatsoever.

 

Window Seat

Yes, I have one on my train from London to Nottingham. From the time I remember, I have never said no to a train journey. I sometimes feel like I live in a little fantasy world I have created for myself where the simplest of things gets me thrilled.

It’s almost a decade ago that I was working in Chennai and made weekend trips back home to Bangalore (Yes… Bangalore and not Bengaluru!).  My world revolved around trains, booking centres and train stations. I also had this bizarre idea about working in the train station where I can announce the arrivals and departures in Hindi & Tamil. Something about naming the unknown and faraway places gave me a weird thrill. Like a train from Chennai to Delhi – wow! A long way to go.

I have to  get a window seat, preferably forward facing and no matter how many times the same route is taken, I have to look out for every station called and look outside at the passing landscape even if it was a rather plain non-dramatic scenery.  So a night journey was something I didn’t look forward to as much. I couldn’t sleep well – with the restlessness about where we are and how far we have come to the worry of what’s happening to my belongings and finally the Ticket collector nudging you to check your tickets just when you thought you could doze off.

The trains in the western world are, needless to say, different. For a start, they are extremely clean. They can be cozy, well, if the air con setting is correct, if not it can be quite chilly too. They are definitely fast, so you can really cover a lot of distance is not so much time. However, for  me, are 3 things about train rides here to back home that make a world of difference.

The uneventfulness, if I can say that is what doesn’t make me remember anything special about the train rides here. For a start, there is hardly any form of conversation with anyone, so you see I can sit there typing all this up! Secondly, it’s the food – the cold drinks, cold sandwiches and a few packs of chips (well…crisps as it’s called here) just don’t do it for me. God! Do I miss the fresh hot food coming out of the pantry car – and I am specifically talking about the Lalbagh Express which provided all this and enough entertainment for the rides back home. For a third, it’s the fact that it is so quiet which isn’t a bad thing, you can actually listen to music, read and sleep (if you can) at peace. But peculiar as it may seem I miss that Chug-Chug -Chuk-Chuk sound that is so characteristic of trains.

I have more stories to speak about my train rides 10 years ago than I have done in the past 6 years – and I know I have done more here than back home.

Nevertheless, the train journeys in the UK make you go through undramatic Rolling Meadows, the countryside is beautiful and can be quite picture perfect on a lovely day, but there is no huge change in the landscape – there is a monotony to it which is actually quite peaceful.

Train rides bring out the side of me which often does not surface.  It’s one of the few times when I don’t think much, the mind is inactive and just watching the scenes pass by taking in what comes along the journey

Come Full Circle

I guess the long aimless walk is all I wanted to get me penning down a few lines which I have been itching to do in the past few days.  My eyes are still tired....for a fact, I have been staring at my laptop screen non-stop for a good part of the past week. 

I have to start this one with the quote I had read and favourited. Sometime ago, may be a year now,  was when I was feeling down. Nothing seemed to cheer me up, I could not have what I wanted and on most occasions I did not know what I needed. This feeling of 'low' stayed with me for a long long time. I had messed up way too many things, I was losing too many good friends - some for my own fault, some for the circumstances, some because they probably decided I was not good enough for them and some more for they got so busy and pre-occupied in their lives that they just forgot that someone like me existed. 

I had decided then that I am going to keep myself occupied with things...simple as it may be, silly as it may sound but I would have a list of things to do, things not to do and I would stick to that and get so drowned in it that I don't feel as low. 

I can't say I have been entirely successful at this- there are many many times when I miss my friends, miss the company, feel low, down and depressed but the feeling stays for a while and goes away and I go back to my list. The 'peaks' and 'troughs' exist in my life as much as the sun and the moon do, as much as summer and winter does. It's become a part of me. 

It's been a while now, at least a good year and I have had those 'ups' and 'downs' but now as this year closes down I am back at being slightly on the low but holding up just so I can wait for the peak to happen. 

As the year has gone passed there's one thing that I have noticed... I love to have company - be it in new people I meet, old friends, cousins, family, new friends -that is one of the key things I need in life to move on. But I have also realized that all this cannot be wished for as the other person needs to wish the same and as much as I yearn for that togetherness, I can't have it. 

I am learning to be 'ok' with my own company and there are times when I am so comfortable at it that it is worrying.... it's worrying me a lot. I don't want to be this way, but it's just turning out this way...

Just like how all this I have scribbled so far is not making sense, this thought of what I enjoy  - 'the being together' and what I am doing  - 'the being with myself' , the contradiction that it brings is making me go slightly insane.....but, I am positively waiting for the 'peak' again - this time it's been a while since it has met me. 

Random Notes - It's that time of the year

Alright, just so we like to write random things about what's happening and what's not with life in general. 

It's that time of the year.....when you leave work its so dark that you want to hit the bed straight away, wearing a few extra layers still makes you feel cold to the bone, you may have a few too many clothing items on you that one minute you are hot as a freshly baked potato while in the tube or can't feel your fingers the minute you are out on the streets,  a day starts and ends by looking into the weather report for the next 24hrs and you'd need another hot drink even after sipping through 6-7 cups of tea or coffee a day...Well, I'll take it that you're getting the swing of things. 

I am being my own moody self and there's no changes on that end. I am uber happy and super excited about the simplest of things on one day and have a completely grey, sulky, sad, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat-day just the next time the moon went around the earth. 

It's that time of the year which makes me the most emotionally drained when compared to any other time of the year- looking back on things unaccomplished, undone, unchanged in the past year there is a disappointment of some sorts on one end while the other end seems to be alright with the little new pleasures, new thoughts that took shape this year. 

It's a time to look forward to much more than any other time for that new year, for the new challenges, times and projects that I can take over and get at in the next year to come. It's like another chance in life to do something that you always wanted to, to change that annoying habit of yours that stuck like a parasite to you and to try and correct those mistakes that you repeated ....yet again. 

The drive to learn is still bubbling from within,the constant go to a new place even if its just a new street in the same city, or click a new picture, learn a new tone,read a new note, make someone happy, a little gesture to change a little thing for someone - This "do something" is what I have heard my inner voice sing to me, shout at me to keep me on the go. 

The restlessness to keep at something, not getting what I really want is constantly trying to take over me so easily. I am prodding along..... the 'Kat Rahi hai Zinadagi'....feeling, is not keeping me as positive as I would like to be. But I am trying, trying to hold myself together, to stay happy, to think ahead and leave the rest to dear God thanking him for those days when I neither feel too happy nor too sad but count the little blessings and stay just content.