Just another bad day!!!

There was a 'day', recently when i felt so low...nothing seemed to go the way it had been planned, i somehow lost interest in everything, felt so down, so lonely.....

It was a lovely saturday morning and i got up early. there were plans of going to Forum with a friend as she had to buy something for her sister and as she's new to bangalore,she could not have gone out alone,then later i had to be meeting up another friend for lunch at Koramangala. In the afternoon, we had aunty and uncle dropping in, in the evening mummy and me would be going to 4th Blk shopping complex as she had some work. Then another friend of mine was to come home and meet me and we go out together...it was
perfect.. i was infact thinking that i will have to pull some time out and complete the novel that i was reading.

I got up early in the morn and went for a walk, got back and got ready.. this friend who had to call me to decide how and what time we leave to Forum
never called up. I called in and got a reply saying that she cancels going to Forum as she plans not to buy anything for the time being.. so half of my morning was gone by waiting for this call that never came. Meanwhile i could read quite a bit of the book....

Later on it was meeting up for lunch with this other friend.. i again called up before leaving home as we had decided to meet by 1:30. The reply I received made me leave my home after half an hour as she was busy she could make it only by 2:00... well.. i completed reading my book by then and somehow was happy i could do so...i left home and reached the place only to see that she was not there. I called in again and all i received was 'sorry, but i cant make it today'. I felt miserable... i came back home.. felt very bad...really have no words to express... told my mother what had happened... she didnt say anything but she could get to know i was very upset.

My aunty and uncle 'finally' came, grandma was very happy, she was looking forward to their coming home since morning... she had prepared some special snacks, sweets just for them... they stayed for a short while and left as they had 'something Much More Important'.

Anyway, mom, grandma took a nap after they left. I started another novel, but was somehow not concentrating as such listening to some good music for a long time.

In the evening went to 4th Block with mom and finished up all the work ... Got back home hurriedly as my friend had called in and told that he would be home at 7:30...but .. nothing new..he didnt turn up at all...

....I find it very hard to understand if there is something wrong in me, or them, or was it just the circumstances,or was it that it was a bad day... I really fail to understand this.

...Some might call this 'EXPECTATIONS', when i was down that day and told a pal about this, i was just told that i expect too much....i definitely do not see it as an expectation...when it comes to friends whom you have known for a long long time..

Today when i think about that 'day', i feel nothing about it, i feel i should not feel bad about this any longer.. I was there for them, i did everything possible from my end.. so why worry..

I feel I am lost in this big world or is it just that the world is drifting away from me?