Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Just another bad day!!!

There was a 'day', recently when i felt so low...nothing seemed to go the way it had been planned, i somehow lost interest in everything, felt so down, so lonely.....

It was a lovely saturday morning and i got up early. there were plans of going to Forum with a friend as she had to buy something for her sister and as she's new to bangalore,she could not have gone out alone,then later i had to be meeting up another friend for lunch at Koramangala. In the afternoon, we had aunty and uncle dropping in, in the evening mummy and me would be going to 4th Blk shopping complex as she had some work. Then another friend of mine was to come home and meet me and we go out together...it was
perfect.. i was infact thinking that i will have to pull some time out and complete the novel that i was reading.

I got up early in the morn and went for a walk, got back and got ready.. this friend who had to call me to decide how and what time we leave to Forum
never called up. I called in and got a reply saying that she cancels going to Forum as she plans not to buy anything for the time being.. so half of my morning was gone by waiting for this call that never came. Meanwhile i could read quite a bit of the book....

Later on it was meeting up for lunch with this other friend.. i again called up before leaving home as we had decided to meet by 1:30. The reply I received made me leave my home after half an hour as she was busy she could make it only by 2:00... well.. i completed reading my book by then and somehow was happy i could do so...i left home and reached the place only to see that she was not there. I called in again and all i received was 'sorry, but i cant make it today'. I felt miserable... i came back home.. felt very bad...really have no words to express... told my mother what had happened... she didnt say anything but she could get to know i was very upset.

My aunty and uncle 'finally' came, grandma was very happy, she was looking forward to their coming home since morning... she had prepared some special snacks, sweets just for them... they stayed for a short while and left as they had 'something Much More Important'.

Anyway, mom, grandma took a nap after they left. I started another novel, but was somehow not concentrating as such listening to some good music for a long time.

In the evening went to 4th Block with mom and finished up all the work ... Got back home hurriedly as my friend had called in and told that he would be home at 7:30...but .. nothing new..he didnt turn up at all...

....I find it very hard to understand if there is something wrong in me, or them, or was it just the circumstances,or was it that it was a bad day... I really fail to understand this.

...Some might call this 'EXPECTATIONS', when i was down that day and told a pal about this, i was just told that i expect too much....i definitely do not see it as an expectation...when it comes to friends whom you have known for a long long time..

Today when i think about that 'day', i feel nothing about it, i feel i should not feel bad about this any longer.. I was there for them, i did everything possible from my end.. so why worry..

I feel I am lost in this big world or is it just that the world is drifting away from me?

Friday, May 13, 2005

Akshaya Thritiya

It was 'Akshaya Thrithiya' a couple of days back .. The 11th of May 2005. Not many can miss it as the papers were up with the news from almost a week before the actual day. One could see all the papers filled with the advertisements given by the Jewellery stores in town, about discounts, about the pre-bookings that an be made for your jewellery purchases, about some benefit schemes.

An interesting thing was that every article on the topic emphasized on "buy gold on this day and your wealth will get doubled (or may be more or even better 'it keeps growing!'"

I had been to the temple that evening with my mother. There was a grand arrangement. I read an article that was put up there which said that this day was celebrated as this was the day 'Kaliyuga' started years back. I was not aware of this! It amazed me by reading the article, but at the same time felt sad that the actual meaning to it is lost.

Now, it is all about acquiring "More"??

Why can’t a day like this have a better social meaning... help the needy by praying
to God that let him give enough for us and for those in real need???

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Every colour has a meaning and every person has a favourite colour.
The colours have meanings which are specific to them through what is called the colour chart from ancient ages but every colour has also obtained an "accepted meaning" .
Its interesting to notice that what one person feels about a colour is quite different from what another feels about the same! I was thinking a lot about these colours as we had an ethnic day at work and all of us were draped in sarees, lots of talks were happening about the colours of the sarees and thats what makes me write this blog..

For one 'Pink or Magenta' might seem Garish or loud, but another finds it a brilliant colour. grey/off-white might feel dull for some but sober/elegant for others. Red is always termed as the colour of anger/spice/heat, black as dark/something suspicious, green as fresh/nature, blue as pleasant/cool, yellow as the colour of joy.. every colour has its own labelled interpretation....
when this is so, why do people still have different opinions??

I feel the colour you wear depends a lot on the mood of the day, also the environment which you are in and following this is your favourite colour! Many times i see that my cupboard is filled with clothes of the same colour with different shades of it! havn't you felt that.. oh! God! All that i have is blue in colour!
Every person enjoys the colours... the colour of green mountains, the blue skies, the sunset...'lovely colours..isn't it? Colours bring happiness,positivity, confidence and joy.. "Come out in flying colours!!" sums it all up! no matter what the colour is, whether one likes it or not, therz no good or bad to it....